Breaking Points

[TurkeyBeef]

Did you ever have one of those days when it feels as if it's the end of the world? That everything will go wrong no matter what you do, your mind crowded with nothing but negativity? One of those days when it feels as if you can just die?

If you think to yourself, "No, that never happened to me" then you're a damn liar. Maybe not now, but soon because everyone experiences this, either for a few hours, few days, or few years. Whatever it may be, just point out your cracking mind in this thread. Whether you just want to recall the memory or crawl into here while you're in complete disarray, it doesn't matter. Sometimes you just need to type it out to anybody... anybody that you hope might understand the bit of pain you're feeling at the moment.

Oh, as for me, you can just read about it somewhere else in this wasteland. I just wanted to know what some of you are feeling. There is no grade for this kind of test.

[Steve]

Today, I was mentally in pain... Not entirely for my own reasons, either. There is a long thought process that brought me to the idea that the world is reaching the point where we have gotten lazy with our improvements to the carrying capacity and quality of life, that soon resources will be spread too thinly, and war will break out. By soon, I mean, in about two or three years. That's just my estimate.

We need some people that know how to save the world; an actual sort of hero. Not the comic kind, no, the overlooked kind. The heroes that improve the lives of everyone through science, philosophy, and technology. People are starving in every country; the middle class is losing life quality all over the world, and we are wearing our resources thin without trying to stem off our dependence on them. People are going to die; lots of them. The easy solution to the "too little butter over too much toast" problem would be to cut off part of the bread and throw it away ("get rid" of people), and that's what our governments will do. In times of need, countries use the same tactics as pirates on the Atlantic.

What can I do? I have the vision to see the problem ahead, but I can only do so much (very little, on the world scale).


There's a lot more, too, but I've typed a lot already. There was also something I was worried about, but I got a good reply on the matter and at least I feel better about that...

I was with my mom shopping at various stores, and not being able to talk to someone that could have anything good to say on the matter was really getting to me. I had a bad headache, and as I was walking, I felt a sense of hopelessness; I probably moved like someone that had just lost a good friend, though inside, the feeling wasn't like that. Different, for sure.

[Serum]

Today I was frustrated at the fact that no one respects the property of others, and the property shared by all. Whislt doing laundry I came back to find one of my washer loads tossed out of the machine... had to wash it again and waste money thanks to that person being so impatient rather than politely waiting and asking to be quicker next time. Another, would be that lots of people like to leave their consoles and such in our dorm living room or leave our doors open incase we needed anything. Now guests and people from other dorms are sneaking in and stealing our things, even someone in the dorm itself is stealing things. Someone even stole our toaster-oven...
Also, that everyone seems to make a huge fucking mess of the bathroom, guys leave shaving cream everywhere, someone keeps hocking phglem and not washing it down the drain, and clumps of hair in the showers, the list goes on it seems. Further, someone lost their things only to find their valuables and schoolwork (laptop) is stolen; what has become of humanity... so greedy and self-centred

[Peewee]

I get these images in my head that make me want to puke just to erase it. I don't know if it would work, but I would have the eruge to do it.

[TurkeyBeef]

What happens if negativity becomes so great that anything positive someone would think of will suddenly be taken over from it? No, I won't believe that just eep sadness comes forth from this sort of situation. Something worse would seep out, like consistent fear. That's how I usually feel because I've noticed this odd quirk a couple of months ago. It will bubble inside me and just leave a sort of fog inside, a thing most people can't escape from so they just hide. They don't want to be blind from the cloud. But then what? Are they going to continue pissing their pants and let this thing gnaw at their entrails?

I don't know, I'm pretty much just asking myself this. I have to decide whether to stop being fearful and slash through the fog with a damn light. How fucking corny... but whatever.

[Robot]

I've considered where my life is headed multiple times. This past week was not the first, but likely the most severe realization that I will amount to nothing. I feel like I'd be incredibly lucky to be murdered quickly and painlessly so I don't have to do it myself. It would save me the trouble of living life as a failure and a coward, which I currently see no alternative to. There is much I want to do, but none of it seems like anything I'll ever manage to do. Instead, I will continue to live in a world that is mildly amused with me, but will never respect me or reciprocate any good I bring into it. It's getting harder to hide my self loathing from the world. I know that once people realize how much I pity myself like a self absorbed teenage shit, I'll be completely abandoned. If only I could move far away to somewhere stupid in the middle of Asia where nobody understands english and I have to hunt bears with a knife just to feed myself. At least then I could say I did something with my life.

[TurkeyBeef]

What kind of... shit is this? It is the entirety of my mind. I think it's slipping away, like I can't feel anything and can't do anything.

I knew whatever cursed me wanted me dead...

[TurkeyBeef]

I think utter silence is horrible. It disturbs me to no end with the consistent ringing in my head, as if the color of the bland walls in here are playing a haunting tune to completely unnerve me. But what truly stabs me in the brain is the sound of my breathing and beating heart. I can't stand these sounds. They all become increasingly louder with each passing moment.

Why, it is not really silence at all... Just disgusting sounds to knock someone off their seat.

[Steve]

Listening to music during those time can help; that's what I do during most of the day.

Try to get the BPM to match the heart rate.

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