Trust in Others

[PhoenonX]

It's hard to have it, it's even harder to keep it. Can you really trust another person online? Who knows, you can't look into someones eyes across the internet. I do know that it can hurt to try to keep it though, especially if you are a very paranoid or nervous person. Even if you want to trust someone as much as you possibly can, there's always that little part of you that doesn't trust someone, and that feeling could grow over time to the point of accusations and paranoia, constant thoughts that they are tricking you.

I'm sure it's a nice feeling being able to fully trust someone, it's a shame that I can't quite yet though, not even my own family members. It hurts knowing this, having noone to confide in or say what you please without having a small feeling of regret. It's just that I always feel like nearly everyone is looking for a way to put me in an institute, or just wanting to get rid of me altogether, I can feel something in other people that they don't like about me, maybe I'm just an unlikable person and that's the end of it.

I've been told I'm a nice person and always have been, but look where that has gotten me so far in life, paranoid over every little thing and untrustworthy of anyone in my life.

[TurkeyBeef]

I understand that feeling. There's always a thought in the back of my mind telling me that I should never get too comfortable with anyone, and that's what also makes me paranoid of other people. I believe that somehow the other person wants to harm me in some way, emotional or physical.

So yeah... basically I try not to keep my guard down if I try to get "comfortable" with another person.

[PhoenonX]

I understand that feeling. There's always a thought in the back of my mind telling me that I should never get too comfortable with anyone, and that's what also makes me paranoid of other people. I believe that somehow the other person wants to harm me in some way, emotional or physical.

So yeah... basically I try not to keep my guard down if I try to get "comfortable" with another person.

That makes sense, but I kind of wish I did have someone to trust, someone I could actually talk to without the fear that they're trying to get some certain information out of me to use against me. Sometimes I feel like I can't trust anyone but myself, but I know that's not what I want. I'm afraid to trust people by now, just by trying to trust some of my closest family members has lead to me nearly getting sent to an institute.

I fear that if I am to trust someone that I don't "know", it might lead to much worse results...I just wish I didn't have to worry about such things. If only it could just be simple, as to not worry about someone betraying your trust. That would be nice, but it hurts to know there isn't any chance of that happening. Even when I'm told by some people that they care about me and trust me, I let it go through one ear and out the other, but that's probably because I don't believe them along with all the other false "compliments" people give me on those rare occasions.

[TurkeyBeef]

Eh, that's just the way things are. Some people remain distrustful of others for longer periods of time the rest of them. You could call it paranoia, but I still believe it will keep me safe if I don't fully trust another person, and sometimes I wonder if that is linked to my excessive shyness...

[Steve]

In regards to people you know on the Internet, it's easy to have mixed feelings on the subject.
While most people will always be a personality, some you'll talk to with your voice, or maybe even video chat. If you're in the right circumstances, you might get to meet them, and then you can really get to know them. Most of the time, though, these things won't/can't happen.

On the other hand, the Internet is a very organized place, and it's very easy to meet people with similar interests (See: YouChew, band forums, DA, etc.). You can meet people from all over the world that think in ways similar to you. No longer is distance a problem when it comes to how social you can be.

With that in mind, it should be easy to find people you get along with. This is no more true than in your local area off the Internet. Humans exist in such a wide variety, and you'll never really find a cluster of people that all think alike anywhere.

If you are a trustworthy person, it doesn't mean people with similar tastes are, too. Offline and on, you have to use your best judgment; the means is different between the two, though. The Internet poses more of a challenge. Are you up to it?


In regards to already established relationships, (and I use that term loosely, mind you) it's best to keep the relationship balanced. Don't tell them more secrets than they have. If you upset them and the balance, things will get ugly. If you know they like video games and they know you wet the bed, pick your nose, have a foot fungus, and feel insecure about your weight, who do you think will have the leverage when you have an argument? If they don't use these things against you, that's a great friend, but are you ready and willing to risk that?

On the other hand, if you don't open up at least a little bit, you'll never know how well you'd get along with that person. Taking a long time to do so is a generally acceptable thing, though. Different people have different limits on how long they can wait (in my experience, it is almost directly related to how many friends they have and would like to have) and if they can't wait, you probably didn't lose much anyway.

The person that opens up less should use the ability of the other person to open up as leverage to open up as well, keeping the previously mentioned balance. Don't make this obvious, though. ("Yo, I'm using your trusting nature to make this social opportunity easy for me. Hope you don't mind.")


It's quite the life game.

I've missed my fair share of opportunities and I'm sure I'll miss a lot more. I've found this to be the balance I like. I rarely have drama issues, and the few friends I have are great.

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